All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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