the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
