this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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