Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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