Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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