she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
