put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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