There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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