Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
