Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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