Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
