I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
