i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
