I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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