I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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