he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
