How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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