I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
