who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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