I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he fucked my hip out of place.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
