I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
