DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
