something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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