I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Duck Duck Cougar?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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