Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
