I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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