he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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