Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
