I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
