I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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