it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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