2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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