Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I wanna passion pit in your ass
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
