Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
