I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I lost the right to judge tonight
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
