You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
