I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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