Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
