he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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