That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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