Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
