You smell like stripper and shame
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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