i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
