I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
