just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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