I need help removing her.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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