i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
