Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
