i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Randomize
