i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
