I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
A+ Viking dick
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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