whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
