Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
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